Welcome back, after another week of Eszti is exhausted, is constantly drowning in homework, work, and other shenanigans. This week we are tackling, one of the most overidealized, yet important parts about University: Friends.
As a kind of introduction to today's post, I must mention that I am outstandingly fortunate with the number of great friends I have made thus far. I must also mention that it was not a smooth ride in the sense of finding a group I felt I most belonged with. I believe the challenging part to making friends in University, isn't about the making friends part. It's about staying patient enough to find your group.
When I first started going to University, I made a bunch of friends. From living in a dorm to orientation week, making friends is almost inevitable as a freshman. As long as you stay open enough to leave your door open, make conversation with the people you sit next to and so on you will be all set. This is simply because this is a new experience for everyone around you, and you are likely around hundreds of people who are in the same situation as you. Don't really know many people or anyone. Everyone wants friends. Say yes to hanging out, and make time for making friends.
Of course, I must also warn you that a lot of freshmen fall into the trap of making too much time for friends, and not enough for school, and classes. You are not missing out just because you don't always hang out with people. Learn to say no, and prioritize your you time, and study as well. But we will dive into time management in a future post.
However, after the months keep passing, as the year keep going another phenomenon begins happening. You start changing. And this is an amazing change. But the thing about going off to University is that it will shape who you are quite a lot.
In most cases, people end up changing a lot as they begin attending Universitzx. This isn't a negative change, yet just a way people begin their transformation into young adults. As no one can say that they are the same as they were as kids, the same begins happening from the time people begin their journey as young adults.
From getting a degree to beginning to figure out all the challenges of adulting, you also begin figuring out who you are in this stage of your life. This is very much positive, but will also face you with the challenge that you all begin growing further from your original friends. Thus of course isn't always true, but quite often. Your friends from freshman year to even sophomore and junior can change quite a bit. This is in no way saying that you will lose those friends, or you want to hang out to catch up from time to time. But your group whom you feel the most yourself with will most likely come later.
This happened this way for me too. I made friends, a lot of friends. Some who are still part of my life, and some who I don't stay in touch with often anymore. With COVID this was especially emphasized and required quite a lot of patience on my side. I often felt lost with this mix of a new country, new people, new school, ideas, a different language, and so on.
I have, however, finally found an amazing group of friends, who I feel the best hanging around. I, of course, still have a few friends from previous years, and from back home whom I love dearly.
But why such a lengthy post on friend-making in University? Because friends make University one of the best times you can have. And I remember how out of place, and even lonely I halt felt sometimes through my time here. Envied those who seemed to have this perfect fit of a group of friends, that they befriend the first week of college. While I am sure that is the case for some, most of us will go through a few groups before finding ourselves and therefore our group. All I am telling you is to hang in there, keep making friends, and stay open. You will find the best friends you could have ever wished for.
Do this by taking advantage of the best things about University. All the different people. Talk to people from different backgrounds. Have friends from different ethnicities, countries, mother tongues, money backgrounds, religions, and so on. Because in University, there are so many different groups of people, that it would be a shame to not grow your world by getting to know them.
You've got this, I promise!