Hello all!
A few weeks have gone by since I have been writing to all of you. The reason being within the title itself. I wrapped up my internship, was getting ready to be a full-time junior, and also; taking some well-deserved time off.
I used to be writing to all of you every Saturday when the blog began in March. No matter what was going on: exam, rain, or shine we had a post. However, this was taking a toll on me looking at these writings more as something mandatory. So over the summer, I started letting myself push it off a few days or even started skipping a few weeks. Not because there was nothing for me to share with all of you, or any new exciting news and so on. But because it was something I needed to do in order to be able to keep writing these lines with a smile on my face. I hope we can all learn to do this with tasks. Keep hobbies that we are not good at, just because we enjoy them, or push tasks to keep enjoying them.
However, it is time that my overly energetic self gets back to writing for all of you and me.
First off: My Internship
When I say I learned a lot, I mean that my world has changed in aspects I can barely begin to count. Beyond the amazing lessons, both within engineering, my new skills, I also developed in the general world of work.
Learning to be confident, even as a knows nothing intern, was a challenge. See I am often thought of as a very confident person, which close friends always knew to be nothing but a show. Asking a question in a class? Could never be me.
Or could it? I began realizing that confidence wasn't something I always had, but I was determined to keep growing within it. I realized that my confidence although was never a given could be developed.
Beyond that, I also learned to enjoy the everyday challenges, and not knowing much. See I was always one with a plan. A plan that was detailed, for not just 5 years, but 15 to come. I have always been scared of not knowing what I was going to do. I was a girl with a plan, ever since I can remember.
Therefore, going into work, not knowing what was going to happen that day, seemed unimaginable. It was hard at first to keep up with all of the rapid changes, and rapidly new tasks. However, as the days, weeks and even months went on, I was almost starting to become excited to see what that day was going to hold. I was hoping to see the unexcepted, to get a rapid change in my plans.
And finally, beyond the growth, skills, and lessons, I was able to see myself as a hopeful future engineer. I always struggled to imagine myself being an engineer. Someone actually responsible for creating, building, designing, calculating these things that I was in awe of for quite a few years now.
I never used to like science as a kid, and I was never interested in any of the details of it. I never had this background of stories and knowledge I picked up through my life. I only have the last 5-6 years to build from. Yet, I was not only able to do it but do it in a sense where I was able to help my fellow interns, and also learn a lot from them (Shoutout to you guys, who always complained about not being in the blog :) ). I left with a sense of pride for not only having grown so much but finally proving to myself that I can and will work well as an engineer. Not because I was "born" to do it, but because I work hard to be able to do it well.
Others: A Junior?
As much as I still get asked whether I am a freshman in college, it feels insane to know that I am now closer to finishing my aerospace engineering degree, than starting it. I have learned a lot over the course of the past years, and in reality, can not wait for the challenges that this semester will bring.
I am trying something very different this semester. Not taking maximum credits. I have in fact done so, in every semester I have spent at college. Yes, some may (probably rightfully so) say that I am out of my mind. Maybe some days I was, so I am learning to take steps back.
Do less, in order to do more. As I always mention this is a work in progress for me. But I promise I am trying my best. And so far, I think it is working wonders.
Fewer classes, fewer jobs, fewer positions. But also less stress, and more smiles.
And finally: Time off
Being a college student you don't often get to see your parents, and being someone who lives quite a bit far from the family, even less so. I loved getting to see them and spending time with them. I also just enjoyed not getting up at 5:30 am every day haha!
Taking time off, as I have learned in quite unfortunate ways is essential to a better existence or well, life. I am learning, as we go on with these posts!
So what now? New challenges? New ideas? What is next for Eszti?
Well, my dear reader, there is a LOT coming, and there will be wild questions to decide. Because for the first time in what might seem, ever. I have no idea what the plan is for the next year. But I do know, that I will be for sure taking all of you along!